Hello.

I've got a long name that I really love, but people call me Cza for convenience. I am a creative in mind and heart who values happiness and love above anything else in the world. Learning life's lessons and desiring to transmit them to others in the future. Avid pen collector. Joy seeker. Building values and friendships that would last.

Please take time to visit my website and read about the things I like.

I love to encourage and empower. Feel free to ask me anything -- in search of some advice, a hopeful statement, or maybe an unlikely friend.

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  1. With this brand new year of existence and my entry into adult life comes a brand new way of seeing things.

    After having what seemed like a panic attack yesterday on the train station, getting disoriented on the platform, and calling my parents for help, I figured I may be too stressed out due to a compounding of factors, and realized this was no way to live.

    Instead of focusing on the negatives I must dwell on the bright side of things — thank God for positive occurrences and rid myself of the habit of stressing over the distant future.

    I know it takes time to change when you’re so used to doing something you think it’s normal when in truth it is not, but you must begin to challenge yourself. Believe, for once. Become your optimistic self again.

    Relax. Take it easy. Appreciate the world around you.

    Be grateful. Have faith.

    Live. Love. Don’t expect, but HOPE.

    Know that certain things you often take for granted might be the key to your future happiness. Just don’t break down easily when challenged.

    Have the will to do things and the confidence to succeed.

    Smile more. Find reasons to do so.

    Be HAPPY.

  2. Posted on April 1 2012 | 1 note Comments
  3. The reason I don’t post pictures of others girls bodies for weight loss motivation

    1more-try:

    Is because I realized that by looking at their bodies, I was making goals to look just like that. To do whatever it took to look like that. And all that did was trigger me to keep restricting. I don’t post peoples bodies because everyone’s body is different and we should all aim to be the person WE can be. Not the best person the people in the pictures can be.

    I cannot agree more with this girl! She is making HUGE progress towards her goal of full recovery and I hope to do the same! :)

    (via hope-exists-darling-deactivated)

  4. Posted on March 29 2012 | 7 notes Comments
  5. I got lovely, beautiful and fat. :o
Which I don’t mind, actually, because having gained weight I would admit to the third. I mean, I’m no longer a size zero. I can only barely squeeze myself in my 25-inch waistband jeans. But that’s okay. Because even though you’re “fat” in the eyes of society, doesn’t mean you can’t be “beautiful” to the world.
So I guess this is one step forward, not caring at all. :)

    I got lovely, beautiful and fat. :o

    Which I don’t mind, actually, because having gained weight I would admit to the third. I mean, I’m no longer a size zero. I can only barely squeeze myself in my 25-inch waistband jeans. But that’s okay. Because even though you’re “fat” in the eyes of society, doesn’t mean you can’t be “beautiful” to the world.

    So I guess this is one step forward, not caring at all. :)

    (via cocainerush)

  6. Posted on March 27 2012 | 81,516 notes Comments
  7. Start low, end HIGH.

    Start low, end HIGH.

  8. Posted on March 27 2012 | 3 notes Comments
  9. Amazing.

    • Seventeen: You've said girls should embrace their curves. Why did you think it important to make that statement?
    • Jennifer Lawrence: When I was playing Mystique in X-Men, I remember thinking, If I'm going to be naked in paint in front of the entire world, I'm going to look like a woman. I'm going to have curves and have boobs and have a butt. Because girls are going to look at that, and if I look like a scarecrow, they are going to think, Oh, that's normal. It's not normal. I'm just so sick of these young girls with diets. I remember when I was 13 and it was cool to pretend to have an eating disorder because there were rumors that Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie were anorexic. I thought it was crazy. I went home and told my mom, "Nobody's eating bread--I just had to finish everyone's burgers". I think it's really important for girls to have people to look up to and feel good about themselves.
  10. Posted on March 27 2012 | 111,538 notes Comments
  11. "

    Diet talk is at the very least annoying and shaming and the worst triggering and oppressive. I am recovering from an eating disorder and I know there are many people out there like me who also struggle with disordered eating. The prevalence of diet talk can be very dangerous and encourages restriction. This year instead of letting these messages of restriction get to me I am saying fuck the diet talk and adding things to my life. Here are nine things that you can do to expand rather than restrict the things in your life.

    Find out what nourishes your body and your soul and add more of these things to your life. Sui has an excellent ebook called Nourish Yourself that has been very helpful to me for discovering how to nourish myself and eat mindfully. You can read Amelia’s review of it here.

    Add more of the movement that you love. This can be anything from yoga to walking to swimming to dancing in your kitchen or living room and you get your cleaning done.

    Expand the number of supports you have in your life. If you think you need a therapist to talk to, take the steps to find a therapist. If you do not have a good support network, try and take baby steps to create a support network around you.

    Ask for help. It can be difficult to do but if you are in a place where you need help for something, reach out ask for support. Maybe you have been struggling with an eating disorder and want to find help for your eating disorder. Or maybe you have been struggling with the design of your blog and need to ask someone to take a look and give you an opinion on what they think would work with your website

    Practice self-care. Make a list of the things that work for you and try to expand the list. For some great tips, check out this list here.

    Focus on your writing practice. Writing can take many forms and can be done in almost any place. You can free write, write in your journal, write morning pages, write a blog post and the list goes on.

    Embrace your creativity. Regardless of the creative activity that you like to do. Carve out time to do it. If you do not have a creative outlet that you like to engage in, find something. If you are stumbling creatively and feel blocked, The Artists Way might just be for you.

    Read books in an area that you are interested in. Local libraries are free and great resources for books that have been on your to-read list. You can also check outGoodreads for book recommendations and to see what your friends are reading.

    Find ways to laugh more. Practice laughter yoga. Have a conversation with a funny friend. Watch funny videos online. Watch your favourite comedy on television or online. Take in a local comedy show.

    I am going to use the above things to expand rather than restrict this year. Perhaps you can do this to and join me in saying FUCK DIET TALK.

    "
  12. Posted on March 26 2012 | 117 notes Comments
  13. “In the purest form of strength lies the truest kind of beauty.”
3.25.12. So happy to be developing muscles! More toning to come. :)

    “In the purest form of strength lies the truest kind of beauty.”

    3.25.12. So happy to be developing muscles! More toning to come. :)

  14. Posted on March 24 2012 | 2 notes Comments
  15. What Are You Made of?: It's your body

    fitfastfierce:

    I used to follow a lot of thinspo blogs, and I posted a lot of thinspo too.

    I would sit there and wish for her legs, her stomach, her arms, and all it ever lead to was total dissatisfaction, sadness, and anger with the body I did have. It sent me into a horrible downward…

    That is oh-so-true. I’d say the same for myself tbh. What’s the point in losing weight for the sake of “being healthier,” when motivating oneself to lose weight through pictures and things other people post may actually be more harmful to your health than you’d thought? Seeing people in their “fittest,” “trimmest” states can make it tempting for you to lose more weight when in fact you HAVE already reached a state that is most optimal for YOU at such point — let other people dictate what you do and your system crashes (literally!), because what might be good for them might not be the best for you.

    (Source: oraclesaidwander)

  16. Posted on March 23 2012 | 49 notes Comments
  17. How do people who harm themselves hurt me?

    No, not to the point that they harm me physically of course. No one can do that unless they a) assault me, b) verbally abuse me, or c) force me to think negatively about myself under the twisted premise that optimism kills, or more appropriately, that they’re going to kill me.

    Many a time I have stumbled upon a person’s tumblr that promoted negative self-treatment or outright self-harm, often in the form of people undertaking a) ruinous endeavors such as doing drugs or overdoing their alcohol, or b) thoughtless ways of dieting/losing weight. I’m not talking about any specific instance, but there certainly were times that the things people have been posting hit me very bad — and I tell you, it was HORRIBLE. ATROCIOUS. DESPICABLE. Really, just BAD.

    One migt think I come as strong — too strong, that is, that I have become unreasonable with the demands I place on society. I ask people to change because I am perfect and others are not and that is something I must accept, as I am not in any poaition to dominate. Truth is, I’m not. Resilient I might be trying to be, but dominant is not what I am. Strong, probably not at all so. But I’m working at it. I’m doing my best, trying hard. What pisses me off is people who do the same but are doing it the wrong way. And the reason I’m annoyed is because I’ve been there.

    It’s true that my entire life, I have been on a diet. I have always been unhappy with how much I weighed or how I looked in pictures, and whenever I’d look in the mirror. It annoyed me greayly that many a person expected me to be perfect when they met me and got disappointed to see less. In my opinion, I just wanted to live up to what I was, or what I thought I was. I could never once get myself to see the truth.

    Now that I’m older, and I’m almost of legal age, I can no longer stand myself acting this way. Not only is a childish manner of dealing with things, it also goes to show how uncomfortable I am with myself and how unconfident I am. I could at least have made the effort to accept what I was and try to make a steady yet gradual change, that wouldve worked to my greater advantage. But I was always in a hurry, it seemed. I was impatient. It was for this reason that I knew not of the true meaning of self-improvement.

    That is what I’d like to change right now. After years of tolerating my own self-destructive tendencies I realize that is now time for me to wake up, to take good care of myself, and to ultimately mature as an individual. That I cannot do if I am too harsh on myself. I must learn to be flexible, to bend amidst discomforting circumstances. I know that change is an elusive bastard, but by choosing to travel straight along a path whereupon it frequently appears, and disappears afterward, I am opening myself up to increased chances of meeting it and making its greater acquaintance so there will come a day in the future that it may no longer escape me. With the New Year having come by, I trust that I will dedicate myself more to achieving this goal.

    I’ve started it off by seeking to maintain a healthy weight and subscribing to mild, yet regular exercise — at least 10 minutes a day, but when taken in summation for the whole week would amount to much. I’ve also resigned to getting rid of my diet, or at best regulating my meals so I don’t eat too much or too little, while not disrupting my nutritional balance, as I know now (firsthand!) of the detrimental effects having an imbalanced diet may pose. Speech and personality classes, too, will follow, as well as getting a job or at least having something to devote my time to — an advocacy, perhaps, or at least a good vision. Being self-centered one may win himself six, seven decades of good life on earth, but in dedicating onself to a vision of broader scope one may make a difference in the lives of many generations to follow. I could start with th environment, and with people with eating disorders. Planning is a good way to begin, but for change to take place I must act upon what I am thinking.

    So people, ahem. One word of advice. Dont spend so much time worrying about yourself, trying to become someone you’re not. It’s a waste of life. Instead of shrinking yourself into a subtle detail, why not be part of the greater picture? Be one with the world. Make a difference. Seek to be one with the human spectrum and you’ll find yourself feeling more fulfilled. How do I know? Trust me. I’ve alternated between episodes of seeing my own blood and never doing so at all. If you’ve ever had an ED, chances are I get you and I know what it means to have your tap running for thirty minutes in the bathroom without stopping. I am aware of what it meansto ruin onself and to rise up again, as I’m trying to do right now. This is an extended-hand offer. Please, join me.

  18. Posted on January 1 2012 Comments
  19. The most valuable treasure of all is KNOWLEDGE.

    Others might scoff at you for knowing only so much, and even go as far as to harbor jealousy towards you, but it shouldn’t matter seeing as regardless of what they do, you may rest assured that it will always be safe with you.

  20. Posted on June 28 2011 | 1 note Comments
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